Government Office of Wasteful Signage. How may I help you?
Captain Citizen here to suggest an improvement to bathroom signs in America.
Are you referring to the ADA Compliant signs placed in public restroom areas, Captain Citizen?
Please, just call me Captain. Yes, let me fax an image of those signs to you.
Yes, I see it coming through now. Those were required by an Act of Congress in 1990 to help all public buildings to be more accessible to Americans with disabilities. The images are meant to comply with international standards of artwork, thus requiring no words.
A very noble idea. But it is a restroom. Do you know what people do in a restroom?
Of course, I . . .
They don't "rest," I assure you. Let me send you a fax of a sign that might more accurately demonstrate the use of the room. . . . Did you get it?
I see it now, sir. I'll show this to the President first thing in the morning. Thank you again, Captain.
Just doing my duty.
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