Government Office of Wasteful Signage. How may I help you?
Captain Citizen here to report hate crimes on American signs.
How terrible! What signs?
street signs that say SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY.
Yes, those were required by an Act of Congress in 1980 to reduce accidents by increasing awareness.
well, in the first place, don't you think that most of those children, even the slow ones, have grown up by now? 1980 is almost thirty years ago!
Good point, sir. I'll bring that up with the President first thing in the morning.
one more detail.
What's that?
why point out only the SLOW children? seems racist or something. why not just come out and say STUDIP CHILDREN PLAY AROUND HERE, SO WATCH OUT!
Good question, Captain Citizen.
and then, what about HISPANIC CHILDREN? CRIPPLED CHILDREN? SMART CHILDREN? QUICK RUNNING CHILDREN? TEENAGE LOITERERS? SHUFFLING OLD PEOPLE IN WALKERS? we must be warned against every kind of dangerous citizens who might cross the path of speeding cars, or we may all die.
Thank you again, Captain.
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