Government Office of Wasteful Signage. How may I help you?
Captain Citizen, the ever-vigilant avenger of injustice, calling. i have a road sign suggestion.
Yes, Captain. What is your suggestion?
well, i think it is wonderful how you put those deer crossing signs on the road here and there.
Ah, yes. The ones with the artsy profile of a noble ten-point buck rearing back as he walks across the road? Those were required by an Act of Congress in 1979 to reduce accidents.
yes, and they really seem to work, at least for those deer who use the crosswalks there. a brilliant stroke that has, no doubt, saved billions of deer lives. but i have a recommendation.
What is that, sir?
if deer crossing signs have been so effective, i don't see why we don't add opossum, skunk and squirrel crossing signs as well. i see way more of them killed needlessly, because they have no designated places to cross the street.
I'll bring that up with the President first thing in the morning, sir. Thank you for your valuable suggestion.
think of the trauma you will save our children!
I certainly see your point. Thank you, Captain.
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