Government Office of Wasteful Signage. How may I help you?
this is Captain Citizen calling. i have a complaint of wasteful signs.
Yes, Captain. What is your complaint?
you know those four-by-six inch signs next to every public lightswitch in America?
The ones that scream TURN OFF WHEN NOT IN USE? Yes, those were required by an Act of Congress in 1977 to reduce energy waste.
those are the ones. according to my superhuman reasoning abilities, they are wasting energy.
How is that, sir?
if the light isn't in use, you can't see the sign. if you can see the sign, obviously the light is in use. there is never a time when the sign is of any use to our citizens.
I'll bring that up with the President first thing in the morning, sir. Thank you for your valuable suggestion.
oh, i have one more.
What's that?
can you replace all those signs with signs in Braille that say TURN ON WHEN NOT IN USE? seems like that would be of more help. if our citizens are too stupid to know what to do with a light switch, we need to be able to inform them when the switch is OFF, not when it is ON.
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